Going through my drawing notebook, I stumbled upon a text I wrote while on the plain between Brisbane and Singapore.

A plane going to a 4 days stop over, before going back to Switzerland after one year abroad.

This feeling of being in between... between an experience from which I enjoyed every second, to the last before going through the customs and didn't feel like it was possible for it to just not be around me anymore, and this other me that I left behind me, and wasn't sure I wanted to get back to.

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Between Singapore and Brisbane                                                                                           Flight thoughts

6h45 – 20h45

One minute enjoying sleeping in in my room,

The next in a plane, cut from my life and people I love.

Snap

Just like that. Leaving is so weird and as the mind doesn’t realise, it seems even harsher and more surprising.

As I am flying in Singapore, the reality hits me in flashes, between periods of calm waiting – movie watching – sleeping.

Then my mind flows to the airport, Corey, Wendy, Elliot.

Last hugs, see you tomorrow…

Oh. no actually

See you maybe never.

My room is not my room anymore. My deck, kitchen, garden, dog, street, bus stop, ferry stop, uni, West End, Boundary street… all of that now belongs to this place, millions of kilometers away, 24 hours of flight away, in my memory and these people I love’s present.

And me, I am for a moment floating in between countries, sleeping in Singapore at a friend's I hardly know, to push away the pain I’ll have when I land back in my old old, freezing past life and try to figure out why I’m there again, if this was all a mirage after all, if I’ll be able to stay “Gaielle” or forced into the old Bouclette by my friends, city, environment.

Does this get easiser with more travel? I hope so, I don’t want to give up the West End – hippie- self-conscious- thoughtfull -loving -reflexive me.

Don’t wanna go back to blindness.

Don’t want to let anyone make me…

I was not ready to leave. I’m not ready to go back. But I guess life happens, nothing much to be done to stop it, just make the most of it.

Who invented Kleenex? Useless thin piece of air!

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To some extent I am still in the same process of being in between... Even if I didn't get back to Bouclette and managed to keep my personnality evolution going on, I still don't feel exactly right... I lost that feeling of being at home that I had back in 12 Adelaide street. A bit more than one year to go before the end of my master and then I'll get to figure out what to do I guess

Anyway, I just thought this was a good moment to share those thoughts, published on the date that I actually wrote it so that the rest of the blog can serve as a material for the reflection on how things evoluted after this.

Here are three of the drawings I made as gifts for my close friends here 

A birthday card

A personalised illustration

and an ancestor-like portrait

It was a lot of fun to do! I really like doing drawings for people...